My Beloved Applehead:

I can’t believe that already a year has past since you’ve been gone. It seems like it was yesterday but at the same time all this is like an eternity without you.

You can't even imagine how much I miss you, I don’t know how I can stand being without you, you're the one who makes me smile, the one who makes me cry, you are the one that rocked my world. What can I say? It’s so hard for me, I still think that this is a horrible nightmare from which I want to wake up or that you are hidden in some place, or so I would like to think.

I think I’m going mad, I love you more than ever and it’s something that I can not express in a few lines… you’ve changed my life, and you’ve saved me from myself in a time of my life where everything seems to fall to pieces, where everything seems more difficult.

This is agony… a slow and painful agony, I live with anguish and pain inside my heart everyday, and the worst of all is that I’m starting to get used to these feelings.

This world is more mean, dirty, cruel and malicious without you, how we can stand this world without your purity, your eyes and your smile? You showed us your magic, you taught us how to love in a pure, unconditional and sincere way; you just taught us to give love and keep being strong whatever happens.

Yesterday I wrote this for you:

How can I smile if the most beautiful smile has gone?

How can I sing if the voice that rocked my dreams has been silenced?

How can I dance if the dance, your dance, has died?

Will I ever see that sincere gaze someday?

Tell me in what shooting star I’ll find you, to stare at it every night of my life.

Nothing will ever turn back time, only your memory will remain.

It can pass millions of years but I’m never going to overcome that you're gone, please… tell me I’m dreaming.
Since June 2009 like a sign of my love and that I'll never forget you, I started using a silver ring on my right hand, I have plans to write your name in it, was the plan I had with a friend.

This is not the first nor the last letter that I send; I have much more to tell.

Ain't no sunshine when he's gone, It's not warm when he's away, only darkness every day..

I love you more…

Paola Fabbri Fierro [Pefa Jackson]

25/06/2010